Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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