i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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