my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
