does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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