Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
At least make sure they are 18
Why
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize