We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
