I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is my gift to your gina
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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