Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
