We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
