You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
