So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
