i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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