All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
