Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize