You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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