their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
