I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
