I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
