I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize