I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
