I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
