as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize