Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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