this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
