Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
