So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
