Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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