so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
