evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You are the jesus of drinking
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
