I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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