Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize