Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
