Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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