STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
