This is not my ceiling
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
