Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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