I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
