with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
