do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
