i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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