How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
