I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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