oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
