So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
