if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
