I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
