i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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