haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize