And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
