chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
