And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize