I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
