do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize