Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
