it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize