Plan B is the new Plan A
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
