I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
