who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
