YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Randomize
