Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize