in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
