How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I stole a fireplace last night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
