Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
