My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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