these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
