She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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