I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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