Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
