i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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