Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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