A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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