dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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