Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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