Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
