i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
