Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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