hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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