she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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