i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
