i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
