put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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