i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
