WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize